


Operation: Customers

by TypingMonkey (purty64)



Series: It's Good To Be Rich [2]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, MORE CHAPTERS TO COME I GUESS, Winter, anti JojaMart, because now I know what I'm doing with this, some of those characters come later, this is a series now i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-07 03:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18612172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purty64/pseuds/TypingMonkey
Summary: Step one: get rid of JojaMart's customer baseStep two:??????Step three: PROFIT





	1. Step one: Pam

**Author's Note:**

> Pam is like the second person in my mind who's like "ah yes. JojaMart customer rewards card holder. better stop that"

Pam was smoking outside the bus to Calico Desert, gazing off into the underbrush, watching squirrels dig up nuts and chatter at each other when the farmer came up to her.

“Heya Pam! How _are_ you today?”

“Ya headin’ ta Calico, farmer?”

“Me? _No,_  today,” he threw out his hands in a wild gesture of grandeur as he continued, “I’m making you an offer, my friend!” Pam eyed him suspiciously. “For money! It’s a monetary offer.”

She took a long drag of her cigarette, letting the smoke drift up towards the snow darkened sky. “What kinda “monetary offer” were ya thinkin’ of?”

“Pam.” The farmer put his hands in his pockets, sleazy grin sliding off his face. “I’ll _pay_ you, whatever you like, daily, to never go near JojaMart again.”

Her gaze dropped down from the lazily twisting smoke into a glare, her hand pulling the cigarette down towards her shoulders and letting it smoulder. She held it for a moment before saying “Ya can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I am deadly serious.” He looked it, too. His face perfectly neutral, excepting the slight pull around the eyebrows, making him look… well, _angry_ , almost. She took another drag on her cigarette.

“Whate’er I like?”

“Whatever you like.”

Pam thought for a moment. Five hundred gold every time someone wanted over in Calico wasn’t great pay, and if she asked for enough it would even be hard to afford everything at Pierre’s. And really, JojaMart had shit quality stock. That’s _why_ it was so damn cheap.

“Howa bout… six hundred, daily.”

“Deal.”

“Regardless a’how much I make drivin’”

Now he looked confused. “Of course. I never said anything about quitting your current job. This would be on top of whatever your making now.”

“Oh. Shiet.”

The furrow in the farmers brow got deeper, and the angle of his head went a few more degrees to the left. “Does that change the amount you’re asking for?”

Pam startled. “No! Naw, o’course not.” Shit, that was gonna be a _lot_ of money, plenty enough to cover the extra costs of shopping at Pierre’s. Hell.

“Then it’s a deal?” He pulled his hand out of his pocket, extending it for a handshake.

“Deal.” Pam grabbed it with the hand not holding the cigarette. She thought he might appreciate not getting burned.

As soon as her hand met his, the grin came back. His shake threatened to take her arm off. “Great! How does Thursday morning sound for collection? Here?”

“Sure, that uh, works for me. Could you let go uh my hand now?”

“Oh! Yes of course!” He jumped back as if she’d been holding the cigarette in that hand after all. “I’ll see you then, then!” The grin somehow grew wider, and he spun around, clearly headed off to find something else to do.

Pam took a final drag on her cigarette, letting the smoke filter up through the air and crushing the butt on the asphalt. “Huh.” Looked like she’d have a lot more cash on her hands, real soon. Penny would be pleased with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do I think Pam talks like this????? I FEEL it in my HEART, but I don't know WHY


	2. Step two: Jodi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's Jodi time babey

Jodi was humming as she locked the door behind her, content in the knowledge that her youngest was with Penny at the library, that Sam could take care of himself. Which was why she didn’t hear the farmer come up behind her.

“Hey Jodi! Oh, I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” She waved him off, letting out a breathy, self deprecating laugh as she picked up her keys. “Anyway! I have an offer to make you.” She looked up at him, surprised. 

“Like the one you gave Shane?” 

He blinked. “He told you about that?”

“Oh no, we don’t talk very often. Marnie told Lewis, and he told Pierre, and Caroline overheard them talking and  _ she _ told me.” 

The farmer rocked back on his heels, visibly flummoxed by the sheer interconnectedness of a small town. “... well. Yes, it is like the one I offered Shane.”

She laughed. “I’m not sure I could take it in good conscience, then. After all, it’s not like I need the money!”

He cocked his head to one side, clearly considering what she’d said. “Jodi, I didn’t offer Shane the money as some sort of handout. I offered him the money because he works for JojaMart, and I want them dead.” Jodi’s face melted from amusement to shock at his words. “I also offered to pay Pam, again not as a handout but because she primarily shops at JojaMart. I’m not doing this out of the goodness of my heart, though to tell you the truth,” a wry smile broke across his face as he continued “if I could find a way around all of your stubborn prides I would have already done so. My primary motivation for this, Jodi, is to  _ kill Jojamart. _ ”

“Oh. I… I’ll have to think about it.” 

“It’s free money, Jodi. All you have to do is start shopping at Pierre’s, and if you ask for enough that’ll be easy.” His face softened at her stricken expression, and he took a hand out of his pocket and placed it on her shoulder. “I’ll let you think about it, alright? Just come by the farm when you’ve made up your mind.” And with that, he left. 

Jodi stood on her doorstep for a long moment, looking at the ground. Mere minutes later, her expression shifted, hardening, and she gathered up her purse in her arms and went running off after him, shouting “I’ve made up my mind!”

He stopped, just outside Marnie’s farm. Spinning to greet Jodi, a grin already on his face, he thought to himself  _ And that’s another one. Just two to go. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I can't hear anything over the sound of how SHORT all my WRITING IS


End file.
